…We have that particular pet peeve in common, I guess.
[He’s quiet for a while, but the occasional cleared throat makes it obvious he’s still on the line. Just… thinking.]
There’s always another way.
[The words are soft enough to be hard to hear. He raises his voice a little.] I believed that. I do believe it. I never understood why anyone would want to die. It confused me.
[Another long pause.] Until… it didn’t. Until I came here, and I just wanted so badly to stop hearing the noise in my own head that I jumped over the side.
[A half-laugh.] It sort of worked, for about a week. And then I was back here, and I realized what kind of hell we’re really in.
[A soft, tired sigh.] Long-winded way around to saying, no. Death isn’t a relief here. It’s tiring, and messy, and upsets everyone, and you actually have to be around to deal with that part.
Cw suicidal ideation/mention of attempt
[He’s quiet for a while, but the occasional cleared throat makes it obvious he’s still on the line. Just… thinking.]
There’s always another way.
[The words are soft enough to be hard to hear. He raises his voice a little.] I believed that. I do believe it. I never understood why anyone would want to die. It confused me.
[Another long pause.] Until… it didn’t. Until I came here, and I just wanted so badly to stop hearing the noise in my own head that I jumped over the side.
[A half-laugh.] It sort of worked, for about a week. And then I was back here, and I realized what kind of hell we’re really in.
[A soft, tired sigh.] Long-winded way around to saying, no. Death isn’t a relief here. It’s tiring, and messy, and upsets everyone, and you actually have to be around to deal with that part.
[…which, put that way, prompts a small chuckle.]