“Nobody ever mentions that part of being given something, I guess. Guilt. Jealousy. Strain.” He puts the cup down on the table and it clatters a little because his hand is shaking. “I’m not leaving, whether I go through with it or not. So.” He crosses his arms so he can tuck his hands tightly under his elbows. “I’ll be… here somewhere. If you…” he stops. Takes a shaky breath, closing his eyes for just a second while he tries to control it. “I have to go. Thank you for the tea.”

He heads into the apartment, towards the door.