"I know." The softness persists, at least. "But that doesn't change my expectations. I don't know you. I believe you when you say you're not going to hurt me. When you say it here, face to face. But I've had that lie told to me a hundred times by others. The way people have treated me in the past is the only gauge I have for situations like this. I..."

He studies his tea, finally taking a sip now that it's cooled somewhat. "My defensiveness isn't a judgement of you. It's the only way I've had to keep myself safe, and I'm not apologizing for it. Which is also not a statement aimed at you. I'll learn to put that shield down, maybe. But it's going to take time. I can't just... decide to be okay. Not after living my whole life with the expectation of pain if I put trust in the wrong person."

He has a right to his defenses, and a right to keep them until they aren't his first instinct. There are some he doesn't assume the worst with, any more. Some. Very few. It's a work in progress.