"I wanted to have a discussion-- I'm sorry. Excuse me a moment," Hakkai says, voice veering towards blank polite autopilot for the last few sentences as he turns half away, one hand still pressed hard over his face and his shoulders hunching like a man bracing himself to take a blow.

Eventually, still mostly turned away and not looking at Neal, he murmurs, "I do want to. Have a discussion, that is. But I... can you accept that it's fair that I have never tried to hurt you, and I hate it very much when other people assume I'll be -- violent and vindictive. I don't want you to hate yourself. It's unproductive. But I also wish you wouldn't hear every word I speak with the assumption that I hate you and your only choices are -- are to fight me or to let me hurt you."