It's always so convincing when people like you and Malcolm and Raylan and half the other individuals on board leave the summary of life at those two words.
[Neal resists the urge to say for the eleventy-millionth time that what kept him with Lestat wasn't mind control. This doesn't seem like the moment for it.] He used it on you? Did he make you hurt someone? Did--are you okay?
[He rolls his eyes at his own stupid question.] That has to be the most useless phrase we're conditioned into throwing at anyone when we're concerned.
I have check-ins at the counseling center, yeah. Seems like a smart choice, in a place like this.
[Nooooooooot going to get into the whole "I'm worried that I've been mind-controlled and brainwashed and that I could be a danger to the people here" thing.]
But I really am fine. I don't... feel things the way other people do; I'm not as easily affected. Or affected at all.
It's part of what Malcolm and I do together. [A pause, then with irony:] I hate it.
[He's not surprised to learn that about Shaw, but--] You still called to check in on me. Well, texted, but you did it. You felt enough one way or the other to do that.
[He's not sure what kind of answer he was hoping for. He feels too much, not too little, if anything. But he thought maybe it would give him somewhere to start.
He's known good people. He knows good people. The problem is that some of those good people are the ones he's not sure do the wholly right thing, anymore.]
Malcolm is good people. [It's a pivot away from the current topic, ish, but not enough of a one to be immediately obvious.] I got lucky.
[DEFLECTION THY NAME IS NEAL.] …He keeps saying he’s going to give me his wish, when I graduate. I believe him, but I don’t want him to realize somewhere along the line that there’s something he wants and regret promising that.
[A long pause.] The making things better for people--it really is what he wants the most. I just don't know if he'll realize he can make something better for someone with a wish, and then be upset with himself for giving it away.
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[lol no she's not.]
What happened to Raylan?
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[U WANT INFORMATION, GIVE INFORMATION.]
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I'm a lot more used to dealing with danger than most people.
[He is, of course, meant to forget the way she'd looked completely wrecked when she and Malcolm had found him in the hallway. But--]
Lestat did a number on me, too.
[They're twinsies!]
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[He feels like it's his fault, even if it's not.] During the flood? What happened?
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He lost his powers, and we're keeping an eye on him. He's a declawed cat now; he can't do that to you again.
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[He rolls his eyes at his own stupid question.] That has to be the most useless phrase we're conditioned into throwing at anyone when we're concerned.
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[Thanks Malcolm. Though, thinking of Malcolm--] Are you talking to him? In the counseling center? You two were together when you found me.
[IT'S PRYING AND IT'S RUDE AND HE DOESN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT ASKING.]
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[Nooooooooot going to get into the whole "I'm worried that I've been mind-controlled and brainwashed and that I could be a danger to the people here" thing.]
But I really am fine. I don't... feel things the way other people do; I'm not as easily affected. Or affected at all.
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[He's not surprised to learn that about Shaw, but--] You still called to check in on me. Well, texted, but you did it. You felt enough one way or the other to do that.
Thank you.
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Both.
Dull anger, sometimes.
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How do you choose to do the right thing? How do you stay clear on what that is?
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[John. Finch. Cole, before that. Her parents, before that.]
I haven't always valued life the way I should, but I try to, now. And I've always wanted to do good.
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He's known good people. He knows good people. The problem is that some of those good people are the ones he's not sure do the wholly right thing, anymore.]
Malcolm is good people. [It's a pivot away from the current topic, ish, but not enough of a one to be immediately obvious.] I got lucky.
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[DEFLECTION THY NAME IS NEAL.] …He keeps saying he’s going to give me his wish, when I graduate. I believe him, but I don’t want him to realize somewhere along the line that there’s something he wants and regret promising that.
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[YOU DUMBASS, DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR DEAL]
Want me to punch him for you?
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No, please don't. He means well.
[A long pause.] The making things better for people--it really is what he wants the most. I just don't know if he'll realize he can make something better for someone with a wish, and then be upset with himself for giving it away.