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[conning]

"It's Caffrey. Remember the value of plausible deniability. I'll get back to you."

Comments

[cactusy]

I have check-ins at the counseling center, yeah. Seems like a smart choice, in a place like this.

[Nooooooooot going to get into the whole "I'm worried that I've been mind-controlled and brainwashed and that I could be a danger to the people here" thing.]

But I really am fine. I don't... feel things the way other people do; I'm not as easily affected. Or affected at all.

[conning]

It's part of what Malcolm and I do together. [A pause, then with irony:] I hate it.

[He's not surprised to learn that about Shaw, but--] You still called to check in on me. Well, texted, but you did it. You felt enough one way or the other to do that.

Thank you.

[cactusy]

You don't have to feel to think trying to do the right thing is important. But-- you're welcome.

[conning]

Is it that you don't feel, or that you don't feel the way other people do? [It's a genuine question on his part.]

[cactusy]

[A brief pause, then--]

Both.

Dull anger, sometimes.

[conning]

[Still genuinely, desperately curious:]

How do you choose to do the right thing? How do you stay clear on what that is?

[cactusy]

I've known some really good people.

[John. Finch. Cole, before that. Her parents, before that.]

I haven't always valued life the way I should, but I try to, now. And I've always wanted to do good.

[conning]

[He's not sure what kind of answer he was hoping for. He feels too much, not too little, if anything. But he thought maybe it would give him somewhere to start.

He's known good people. He knows good people. The problem is that some of those good people are the ones he's not sure do the wholly right thing, anymore.]

Malcolm is good people. [It's a pivot away from the current topic, ish, but not enough of a one to be immediately obvious.] I got lucky.

[cactusy]

He is. He cares about you a lot.

[conning]

He cares about everyone a lot.

[DEFLECTION THY NAME IS NEAL.] …He keeps saying he’s going to give me his wish, when I graduate. I believe him, but I don’t want him to realize somewhere along the line that there’s something he wants and regret promising that.

[cactusy]

Oh god, Malcolm.

[YOU DUMBASS, DON'T GIVE AWAY YOUR DEAL]

Want me to punch him for you?

[conning]

[That startles a laugh out of him.]

No, please don't. He means well.

[A long pause.] The making things better for people--it really is what he wants the most. I just don't know if he'll realize he can make something better for someone with a wish, and then be upset with himself for giving it away.