Neal smiles a little at that, taking his seat again. "That's true."
It does make him feel fractionally better.
He draws in a deep breath, studying the latticework underneath the glass top of the table. "Look. If it was me... I would be curious. I would be desperately curious. How often would either of us get that chance in our own worlds? We won't. If it was me, I'd do it, because here at least I know it's a change I can reverse if it's not one I want to keep. I don't want you to do it. But my only reasons are selfish."
He's not sure how much more honesty he can take. He's feeling raw, scooped out inside, feelings he knows mean he's close to the edge of how much he can handle in general before he needs to just be away from people for a little while.
Neal forces himself to drink some of his cold-but-not-cold-enough-to-be-refreshing tea, hoping it will make his throat feel a little less squeezed.
"Jealousy. Fear. Worry." The thought that Lark might decide to bring Will in too, and then Malcolm will have no reason to keep ties to anyone outside.
“I don’t know.” It’s honest, quiet, guilty. He would say if he could think of anything. He would say in a heartbeat. “It’s not fair. I do know that. But I don’t know how to fix it.”
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It does make him feel fractionally better.
He draws in a deep breath, studying the latticework underneath the glass top of the table. "Look. If it was me... I would be curious. I would be desperately curious. How often would either of us get that chance in our own worlds? We won't. If it was me, I'd do it, because here at least I know it's a change I can reverse if it's not one I want to keep. I don't want you to do it. But my only reasons are selfish."
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Neal forces himself to drink some of his cold-but-not-cold-enough-to-be-refreshing tea, hoping it will make his throat feel a little less squeezed.
"Jealousy. Fear. Worry." The thought that Lark might decide to bring Will in too, and then Malcolm will have no reason to keep ties to anyone outside.
no subject
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no subject