The water, appropriately enough, starts to boil, and Neal takes a sharp, calming breath as he starts to pour two mugs. "Do you think Kiki would want some? You said she's upstairs, right?"
"She is but I just gave her some hot chocolate," Malcolm tells him.
He takes a breath.
"I don't mind restrictions with parameters, you know. And I'm not allowed to say it but I see it on her face. She needs to monitor him personally at all times so she knows everything. That doesn't have an end date and I can't believe otherwise until she tells me one."
"I believe you." His expression tightens again for a moment. "About not minding restrictions with parameters. I think... part of it might be that Shaw got spooked. Not by Will, by the fact that this happened and she didn't see it coming. I definitely don't agree with her, necessarily, that the answer to his supposed slip in her caretaking requires a 24/7 remedy, but this is also her first time dealing with something like this for her own inmate. She's probably dealing with having... less distance than usual, on top of the events themselves."
Neal massages one temple and then runs his hand through his hair. "I'm still trying to figure out when she stopped actually hearing what I was trying to say in our last conversation, to the point that it... went south."
"...It was." Neal takes a long, slow breath to try and release some of his sudden irritation. "As soon as I said that I wished people would care more about who people are than how they're wired to feel, for her sake and yours, that's when the conversation turned."
Neal shakes his head, growling under his breath. "Jesus Christ. I don't understand."
Then takes a breath. "That was badly phrased, and poorly delivered."
He brings Malcolm the tea, not yet drinking from his own. "I don't care if it's normal. People liked Dorian--"
Neal catches himself and lowers his voice a little. "People like others who deserve it less. You do your best, every fucking day, and then everyone points and judges when you get pushed far enough that your best is out of reach for an hour. Fuck them."
Malcolm’s smile is a little watery. “There aren’t many people I’ve ever been able to just be around. Will has been working on helping Shaw to understand me, too. And I appreciate you both. I really do. I’ve never had a friend that would fight for me, either. I just… I don’t know what to say. I don’t want to be a thorn in your other friendships, but… thank you, Neal.”
"I don't know," Neal says, quietly frustrated, though not at Malcolm. "I can make all the points I want about how not everyone is going to like you no matter what you do, but-- the degree to which that's true for you is wrong. It's just... wrong."
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These are clearly relationship adjectives he's heard before as Bad Things.
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"No, it's fucking not."
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"Thank you."
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He takes a breath.
"I don't mind restrictions with parameters, you know. And I'm not allowed to say it but I see it on her face. She needs to monitor him personally at all times so she knows everything. That doesn't have an end date and I can't believe otherwise until she tells me one."
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Neal massages one temple and then runs his hand through his hair. "I'm still trying to figure out when she stopped actually hearing what I was trying to say in our last conversation, to the point that it... went south."
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Neal shakes his head, growling under his breath. "Jesus Christ. I don't understand."
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Then takes a breath. "That was badly phrased, and poorly delivered."
He brings Malcolm the tea, not yet drinking from his own. "I don't care if it's normal. People liked Dorian--"
Neal catches himself and lowers his voice a little. "People like others who deserve it less. You do your best, every fucking day, and then everyone points and judges when you get pushed far enough that your best is out of reach for an hour. Fuck them."
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"I guess I just don't know what I keep doing wrong."
literally a month later......
Re: literally a month later......