samples/tdm stuff

[conning]

v. friendr

	Friendr
«		»
	» Age: youthfully vigorous » Seeking: anything » Preferences: bisexual » Interests: Fast cars, fine wine, and pretty faces. » Bio: Entrepreneurial world traveler who enjoys the good life. And sharing it.
	base code by photosynthesis
	Simon Templar
	« ✘ ✔ »

vi. wildcard/network

[ The feed begins by broadcasting one of the private rooms in communal housing, a blank space without adornment, even the bed unused. This person is very new.

The person in question sits at the desk, bright-eyed and smiling. When he speaks it's with a posh British accent. ]

Hello my loves. How are we all doing today?

[ Simon turns in his chair, one way and then the other in increments. It's a perfectly natural movement, nothing odd, but it's a tell nonetheless. He's wired in spite of appearing relaxed, upset in spite of his smile.

No one who doesn't know him very well would be able to tell.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, there's no one here who knows him that well. ]

This is an interesting situation in which we've found ourselves. Novel even for me.

[ A wink. ]

Anyone out there interested in a cocktail and a chat? I'd love to learn a bit more about our mercifully non-utilitarian surroundings.

Comments

voice;

[fromthehip]

Novel even for you, huh?

Sounds like you find yourself in 'interesting' situations often.

voice;

[conning]

[ What a delightfully American accent. ]

One makes one's own fun, darling. And I'm easily bored.

[fromthehip]

Welp, I don't know a helluva lot more than you do.

All I've got is what the welcome wagon spit at me, and it sounds an awful lot like the stuff they say to the orange jumpsuits coming off the school-bus back home.

Shut up, keep your head down, do your time, and maybe you'll get out on good behaviour while you've still got hair.

[conning]

I certainly hope so. I’ve never looked good in a wig.

Which side of the jumpsuited fence do you fall on, if I might ask?

[fromthehip]

Never tried.

[Chuckle.]

The side that buys beer by the bottle instead of the toilet bowl.

[conning]

[ EW. ]

Fortunately, I’ve never been much for beer.

[fromthehip]

That makes you a pruno man. Pruno's the good stuff.

Fruit, candy, ketchup, sugar, milk, stale bread, hell, I've even heard of people using Cheetos, all crushed up, filtered through a dirty sock, and aged to a fine vintage of 'as long as you can get away with'.

If you're lucky, you'll catch yourself some botulism and win an all-inclusive trip to the club-fed health spa.

[conning]

[ E W W. ]

Mm. And which club-fed services do you yourself provide?

[fromthehip]

Me? I make sure no one gets lost and accidentally winds up in Mexico. Guess that makes me a club-fed travel agent.

There's nothing I enjoy more than surprising people at the airport with a welcome sign. I'm nice like that.

[conning]

And here I am, such a fan of long-distance travel, yet somehow I always seem to miss the welcoming committee.

[fromthehip]

That's too bad. I'll have to keep an eye out for you then.

[conning]

I’ll be sure to leave you a calling card, should we ever cross paths. Who should I signed it to?

[fromthehip]

I don't read so well, but I'm great with names.

I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.

[conning]

Simon Templar. If you’d like a more formal introduction, you could ask your associates at the FBI for their records. We’re good friends.

[fromthehip]

That makes one of us. Me and the FBI don't get on that well.

Chalk it up to creative differences.

Pleasure to meet you.

[conning]

You've no idea how sad that makes me.

I believe it's time to tell me yours.

video; un: j.calhoun

[bardish]

[ STARE.

STAAAARE. ]

I have a question-- and it might be a weird one, but bear with me!

[ Here goes... ]

Have you ever tried growing a beard?

[conning]

[ A tiny headcock, not unlike an intrigued Labrador retriever. ]

I’ve been told it ages me.

[ He twinkles a smile at Jeff. ] Why, do you have a preference?

[bardish]

[ Hello, Labrador retriever, MEET GOLDEN RETRIEVER. ]

No!

I mean, I do have a preference, and the preference is for 'beard' but not on your face! I MEAN IT'S KIND OF YOUR FACE, BUT NOT REALLY--

You look like my boyfriend, and he has a beard! That's all! It's fucking eerie, man!

[conning]

[ Simon sighs and leans back in his chair. BOYFRIEND. FIGURES. ]

Is that so. [ He’s still smiling, the expression hooked and amused. ]

How disappointing.

[ No he really doesn’t get how much like Cam he looks. ]

[bardish]

I don't know, I can't say I'm feeling disappointed, myself...

Uh... So... What's your name?

[conning]

No? I suppose then I have to approve of whoever has my features on loan.

Simon Templar, at your service. [ Said with the air of someone who’s used to people recognizing his name. ] And who do I have the great pleasure of addressing?

[bardish]

I'm pretty sure he's older than you, so technically you're loaning his features. He had them first!

[ YEAH NO, 'SIMON TEMPLAR' RINGS ZERO BELLS. Then again, he could be related to Cam like... on his mother's side?? Maybe??? ]

Jeff Calhoun! Also at your service! Not that I have very many services to offer, unless you need a high school teacher...

[conning]

Oh? Perhaps the beard suits him then.

[ Get it because he’s old.

Another mischief-laced smile. ]

The noble profession. Molding the minds of future generations. You’re a braver man than most.

[bardish]

Brave? You are so trying to puff me up.

[conning]

On the contrary. [ Oh look, Simon is capable of looking serious. ] You may be the only positive point of contact some children have. That takes a particular kind of courage to try and a particular kind of heart to sustain.

[bardish]

[ He smiles, pleasantly surprised by the sentiment. That's BASICALLY WHY JEFF GOT INTO TEACHING IN THE FIRST PLACE! You're a pretty cool guy, Simon. ]

Sounds like you had a teacher who made a real impact.

What kind of work are you in?

[conning]

[ I DID AND THEN HE KILLED MY PARENTS isn't really the kind of answer Jeff is looking for, for starters, and for finishers Simon hasn't dealt with the revelation about Xander in any way, shape, or form. It's still a looming darkness he'd rather ignore.

So he does so, answering that first bit with a smile and moving on. ]

Wealth management.

[bardish]

...oh! Like an investment banker? [ Or, like, WHOEVER IT IS THAT MAKES RICH PEOPLE RICHER. ]

[conning]

[ He smiles, so brightly that the laugh-lines at the corners of his eyes crinkle. ]

Something to that effect. [ He just helps assholes invest in the future of humanity instead of themselves. ]

What do you do here? Teach? They offered me several different kinds of positions, though I haven't yet decided whether to accept them.

[bardish]

[Tell Jeff that, and you'll immediately become one of Jeff's favorite NON-CAM people. ]

Yeah, I teach, ah... basic subjects to kids who need special attention. Because of their magic.

What kinds of work did they offer you?

[conning]

[ Because of their.... magic.......... ]

Because of their magic. [ He doesn't mean to sound so disbelieving, particularly not given the whole STUCK IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE thing, but at least he's familiar with the idea of other universes being real.

Magic? Not so much.

Simon clears his throat, reclaiming his confidence. ]

Ah, consultation with the Riverview PD, for starters.

[ What is a wealth manager doing with the RPD? IT IS A MYSTERY. ]

video; what's going on, it's AN OLYPHEST

[sequelbait]

Well, I was stressing out over midterms coming up, but now I don't have to worry!

[ THANKS, MOON PORTAL. ]

[conning]

[ This poor boy’s hair.

He’s vaguely remeniscent of the beard guy.

Strongly reminiscent in fact. Simon’s brow furrows. ]

Yes, how nice.

[ HRM. ] Do you have any relatives here?

[sequelbait]

[ How dare you, he's 90s cool. ]

Oh, that's not a weird question at all...

No, I don't have any relatives here. [ SIGH. ] Unless my mom lied when she said my real dad was John Travolta.

[conning]

[ Suddenly he’s a lot more uncomfortable with the idea of someone sharing his features. ]

That must be it. Truly an uncanny resemblance.

[sequelbait]

So... Who am I supposed to resemble here?

[conning]

A very nice, somewhat high-strung high school teacher.

[sequelbait]

[ Oh, well, that's a new one. Mickey has to take a few minutes to do some digging of his own.

...

Well, that's a fucking creepy resemblance. ]

I guess I ought to be asking him what he was up to twenty years ago...

[PAPA CAN YOU HEAR ME? ]

✔ LET'S SEE HOW LONG WE CAN KEEP THIS OLYPHEST GOING

[dosing]

Would you look at that? If you stuck our interests on a venn diagram, it'd be a perfect fucking circle.

[ Okay okay he's more into hard liquor than 'fine wine,' but CLOSE ENOUGH, RIGHT? ]