Once Upon A Time In A Multiversal Nightmare Far Far Away.... (Village Wrap-up Post)

[conning]

A collection of tags and threads that participants wanted to play out, after I pulled Neal from The Village!

Idk I'll think of something more descriptive.

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Malcolm - Wait I Said What Now

[conning]

It's a relief to be on a cot in the schoolhouse, piled under blankets. He knows the cold is from blood loss, not weather, but at least he can pretend he's warm this way.

He can't sleep, though. He's terrified to close his eyes. It's been that way for several days, yes, but in the wake of the fire it's so much worse. What if he dreams some other disaster? His people got out okay this time, but what if next time they don't?

He works one hand free from the blankets and pinches the bridge of his nose, blinking several times to fend off the nigh-unbearable need to close his eyes.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm brings him a cup of tea.

“Here,” he says softly. “You need the warmth and the fluids.”

[conning]

Neal smiles tiredly at Malcolm, feeling another deep tide of relief at knowing he's present and okay. It feels somehow like every time someone walks out of the room it's going to be the last time he sees them.

He sits up a little more, accepting the tea with real gratitude. "Thanks. Who knew blood loss made you this thirsty."

[abrightboy]

“Medical science,” Malcolm offers. He sits down next to Neal’s makeshift bed. “Can… can I ask you something?”

[conning]

He sips the tea, testing the heat of it before taking a deeper drink. It's off-brand Lipton's, but at the moment it tastes like heaven.

"Anything. Always."

[abrightboy]

“When… when I stabbed you… you were kind of out of it. You… you told me that you loved me. Not. Not the usual way we say it. Is… was that true?” he asks cautiously.

[conning]

Neal gives him a long, blank look. He feels like his insides have locked up. He feels like he might be sick, or like he might try to yank his stitches out so Malcolm has a crisis to solve and can't wait for the answer to that question.

"I..." When did he say that? Why did he say it? What was he thinking? Was he thinking? Apparently not because he has no memory of that giant mistake whatsoever. "That's."

[abrightboy]

“That’s the reason you were mad at me for staying with Raylan. That’s the reason you were so mad at Raylan that you hit him in the face.”

It slots everything together. It’s the only answer that makes sense.

[conning]

Shame washes through him. He can't meet Malcolm's eyes. Thirsty as he is, he can't even seem to bring the cup to his mouth. He wants Malcolm to leave, get this over with and walk out, so he can curl up under the blankets and hope they'll smother him before someone comes along to see how he's feeling.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm makes no move to leave.

“Why didn’t you tell me that? When did things change?”

[conning]

"I did," he says quietly. "I tried. But you thought I meant... the first way, and I didn't want..."

He didn't want to upset things. He didn't want to make things complicated. So much for that. "I don't know when it changed. I didn't... really realize it until the fight with Raylan."

[abrightboy]

I tried.

“You… you did,” he realizes. “Try. And you made that pie. Waiting for me after Raylan confessed.” He frowns faintly. “Why couldn’t I see it? Does… does Raylan know?”

[conning]

Neal nods miserably, still staring at the tea, the idea of which now makes him faintly queasy. "He's--"

He almost, almost glances up at Malcolm's face, but he aborts the action half-way through. "When we were fighting, he... I didn't know, not really. But he pointed it out. He realized it was why I was so mad."

[abrightboy]

“He’s better at assessing people than he’s given credit for, though I think he likes it that way. Being underestimated.”

Malcolm reaches out and strokes his fingertips through Neal’s hair.

“Are you still mad at me?”

[conning]

He closes his eyes at the touch, whispering, "No," instead of shaking his head.

"I can't stay mad a you," he says, even quieter. "I just. Want you to be happy."

[abrightboy]

“Is that why you felt like coming home with me made you some sort of consolation prize? I don’t want to make you do something that makes you feel like you don’t matter. You matter. I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to think that you’re some sort of… second fiddle. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. That’s everything. That means everything to me.”

[conning]

"I shouldn't have said that." His voice is still very, very quiet. "I didn't mean it, not really. I know you'd never..."

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter against tears. For a second he feels dizzy with sleeplessness, but that isn't what's important right now. "I still want to go with you. I don't want you to think... I wouldn't be happy if I did. I would."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm watches his face for a moment, then crawls closer and carefully wraps his arms around Neal's shoulders, hugging him tightly, burying his face in the artist's hair.

[conning]

He hangs on to the tea with one hand, his other going up to cling to Malcolm's arm. Not to pull it away. Just to hang on. He leans in against the embrace, eyes still shut tight.

"I love you," he says quietly. "I would love you even if I didn't feel..."

How can he even put it?

"I just love you," he says, more quietly.

[abrightboy]

"I love you, too," Malcolm murmurs back. "Maybe things would have been different if..." If Neal had snagged his heart in the kitchen that day? Hard to say. Malcolm had a crush on Raylan already but he also thought it would never come to anything. "If things were different."

[conning]

Neal almost makes a joke about how everyone else seemed to know about his crush before Malcolm, but he doesn't. It doesn't feel like it would hit the right note. And it hurts a little too much.

He turns his face to press against Malcolm's chest. "When--"

Neal stops. He doesn't want to screw things up, not more than he already has.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm presses a kiss into his hair.

"When what?"

[conning]

Neal bites his lip for a moment. "When we get out of here. When we get back to your New York. You think we might have a shot at..."

He shakes his head. "I don't care if we don't, I don't. I want to go with you either way."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looks at him for a moment, then shifts and gives him a gentle kiss on his mouth.

"If we leave here and you come back to my New York with me, I think I would be a very lucky man if you'd have me."

[conning]

Neal leans forward as Malcolm starts to lean back, catching his mouth before he's out of reach. It's not passionate, but it is tender.

"When. When we leave. When we get to your New York."