TRAUMABEANS AU

[conning]

boop

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[conning]

"Probably not," Neal says absently. He's standing at the half-circle window, staring out at the street. It occurs to him in a vague way that he shouldn't be making himself a target like this, and he turns back toward the apartment.

Ellen watches him with quiet concern. "What is it?"

[abrightboy]

"He's used to not knowing who to trust. To not trusting," Malcolm says, watching him, like he's narrating something that only he can see. "But it's different now because the cost is higher. The cost is more than his own life or freedom if he's wrong."

[conning]

Neal stares at Malcolm for a moment in shock. That’s it. That’s what it is, the unsettled terror gnawing at the pit of his stomach, the idea that he might make a wrong choice and get someone killed. He didn’t even realize it himself.

“Oh, Neal,” Ellen murmurs, and walks over to hug him. He stiffens against it for a moment, instinct more than anything, but she doesn’t let go. Slowly Neal relaxes again, hugging her back. He missed being able to do this.

“I don’t want to lose you,” he mumbles. He looks up from her shoulder, finding Malcolm with his eyes. “I just got you back.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nods. That’s correct. More than that, it’s right.

“You know… if we make the right choices,” Malcolm muses, “then we deal with whoever is after her once and for all and win her freedom forever. She can be in your life without hiding. She can be part of your family properly, for real.”

[conning]

Ellen makes a soft little noise of disbelief. “I don’t even know what that would be like.”

She draws back enough to cup Neal’s cheeks between her hands. “I’d like to find out, though.”

Neal manages a tearful smile.

[abrightboy]

“We need to know everything you know about the original case that landed you here and a out whoever might want you dead now and the ways they’re connected, starting with this high ranking official,” Malcolm tells her. “Everything.”

[conning]

Ellen takes a deep breath and nods, clearly rattled by the prospect of openly sharing what she’s kept so guarded for so long. Neal hugs her again, impulsive and firm.

“It’ll be okay,” he murmurs. “Malcolm is the best at what he does. The best.”

[abrightboy]

“And we don’t have to get through all of it tonight,” he adds with a wry smile. “There’s a spare bedroom upstairs,” he tells her. “And the bathroom is through there,” he explains, pointing. “And if you hear any screaming in the night, it’s just me,” he adds with a wince, “so just ignore it.”

[conning]

Ellen comes over to offer Malcolm a hug this time when he says that last part. "Neal told me. About the night terrors. I hope that's all right."

Neal follows her over... and on impulse, enfolds Malcolm in a hug sandwich.

[abrightboy]

“If Neal trusts you enough to tell you, then I trust you enough to kn…”

Then she’s hugging him, then Neal’s hugging him and he gasps, but it’s not a sound of distress so much as soft surprise.

[conning]

Family, Neal thinks dizzily. This is his family. This could be his family. He presses his face against Malcolm's shoulder. "We can do this."

The buzzer goes off and to Neal's own surprise, he doesn't flinch at the sound.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm does startle, looking over at the door, then slipping out of the sandwich to press the intercom.

“Hello?”

[conning]

“It’s Burke,” says Peter’s voice.

Neal perks up, joining Malcolm. “Are you by yourself? I’m not inclined to let Jones or Diana see me shirtless.”

“Like they haven’t already,” Peter grunts, the back-and-forth familiar. He pauses. “It’s just me.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm looks at Neal, then presses the buzzer to let Peter in, stepping over to take then chain off the door and open the locks, cracking the door so Peter can enter when he gets to the top of the stairs.

[conning]

Peter hurries in and stops short at the sight of Neal, Malcolm... and Ellen. He looks between the three of them in confusion.

"It wasn't safe to tell you she was here over the phone," Neal says, an apology in his voice. "Just in case."

"In case--?" Peter cuts himself off, realization dawning over what Neal must mean.

[abrightboy]

"In case they're listening," Malcolm says ominously. "Coffee? Tea?"

[conning]

"Someone sold me out," Ellen says frankly, going to join Malcolm in the kitchen. "How do you work the French press? I've never had one. Always seemed like too much trouble."

Neal almost laughs at that, dragging a hand through his hair and giving Peter a worried look. "Someone very highly connected."

Peter nods slowly, looking sick. He pulls out his cell phone, stares at it a moment, then puts it away before Neal can protest the idea of him making a call. He looks from Ellen to Neal to Malcolm and back, lips pressed tight together. "I'd like to bring Diana and Jones in on this."

[abrightboy]

Malcolm is about to explain the french press to Ellen when that question is asked and he looks at Neal.

“Do you trust them?” he asks Neal, specifically, and only Neal.

[conning]

Neal and Peter both look at Malcolm in surprise. Two very different brands thereof.

“Of course he trusts them,” Peter snaps.

For the first time he can remember, maybe the first time ever, Neal feels a stab of annoyance over Peter speaking for him.

“With this, I trust them,” he says softly. “They’ve both worked off-book with Peter before.”

Peter eyes Neal with a mix of concern and irritation, apparently trying to decide what to say.

[abrightboy]

Malcolm gives Neal a nod, completely ignoring Peter’s remark and Peter’s tone and Peter’s face. Well, for a second.

Then he looks at Peter.

“You’re here because Neal trusts you with Ellen’s life. She’s the last of his childhood family. The last. We cannot afford anyone in this loop who would go to higher ups or fellow agents out of a sense of duty. Someone in the government is trying to kill her. They just barely missed killing all three of us to get to her.”

[conning]

Neal… decides to stay out of it. He’s not sure it’s the right choice, but at the moment it’s a less anxiety-inducing one. He drifts over to Malcolm’s desk as Peter gathers breath to argue about… something. Who knows what. Neal doesn’t care right now.

They almost got shot, Ellen almost got shot.

Peter stops himself before he has the chance to be much more than scathing about Malcolm’s knowledge of his team, seeing Neal’s apparent disconnect. He takes a step toward the other man.

“Neal?”

“There’s no second chances here,” he says. He’s standing behind Malcolm’s desk now, staring at Jesus on the wall. “You die once and that’s it. It’s harder to remember that than it should be.”

Peter and Ellen both seem at a loss for what to say to that.

[abrightboy]

“You remembered it when I wanted to stay behind,” Malcolm reminds him gently. He takes the howling kettle off the heat, but abandons the french press project to step to the end of the counter. “You won’t let it happen carelessly.”

[conning]

He looks over at Malcolm at that, relief pinching lightly in his chest. Malcolm is right. He remembered. Faced with the risk again, he'll probably remember from pure instinct if nothing else. Death isn't pleasant. That probably hasn't changed.

"Gil," he says suddenly. "Would Gil help?"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm nods.

“He helped with the Endicott case when the higher ups wanted it dropped.”

[conning]

"Can you call him? Or..." Neal frowns at the painting, tries to shake off the sense that it's watching him back, and goes back to the kitchen. He slips an arm around Malcolm as he goes, drawing the other man back to the press. "Do you think your phone is safe?"

Peter holds up a hand. "Wait, what were you..."

Neal keeps his eyes on the coffee.