Neal snorts, brief and undignified. "I mean, I just found out that my sister thought I hated her the one time we ever had a big fight, so that's... unpleasant, but I'll live. Have you thought that this whole time? That if we disagree on something, if I argue with you, it means I hate you?"
He won't say no to a voluntary Shake hug, even if it's clearly for his sake. He gives her a squeeze.
"He does mean a lot to me. So do you. And I hope if we had that kind of fight now I'd have the ability to explain that it wasn't even about him, at bottom, it was about--as I saw it at the time--someone I trust not trusting me. Which as you might recall was a bit of a flashpoint for me."
He weighs that question carefully before he answers. "I think it's always going to bother me. It hurts, it feels like failing. But I don't think it can break me the way it used to. I trust myself enough these days that I don't need it as much from anyone else."
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She doesn't pull away, but she does frown a little.
"Are you okay?"
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She sighs, reaching out a hand and grabbing him by the shoulder (a little roughly, but she means well), trying to pull him into her.
"Hey, c'mere, you sappy nerd. It's okay. "
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"He does mean a lot to me. So do you. And I hope if we had that kind of fight now I'd have the ability to explain that it wasn't even about him, at bottom, it was about--as I saw it at the time--someone I trust not trusting me. Which as you might recall was a bit of a flashpoint for me."
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She won't say weaknesses: that's only a skip and a jump from calling Neal weak, which isn't what she means or how she thinks about him.
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There's a small tease in there, but it's an itty bitty one. Neal gives Shaw an extra little hug. "Shall we go ambush our brother? I made cookies."
Whiskey-Bacon cookies with pecans and maple sugar, but why ruin the surprise.
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N e a l.
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Come on now.
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She counts off each item on her fingers.
"Unless you already had the batter made. We're not working with month-and-a-half-old cookie batter, are we, Caffrey?"
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Shaw pauses, gives his shoulder another pat, and then pushes away from him, hauling herself to her feet and offering him a hand up.
"Are we gonna ambush him, then?"
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"Sounds good to me. Let me get a plate I don't mind never seeing again and we'll go."
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You big sap, Neal.