Feeling the echoes of humanity returning, in that blood is still necessary but now ABSOLUTELY revolting instead of only MOSTLY revolting. And my spelling has significantly improved since we last texted.
[He clears his throat a little awkwardly.] No, I’ve gotten it from the infirmary.
[THAT ADHD URGE TO SAY TOO MUCH—] Given how it felt when Lestat fed on me I don’t think it would be a good idea to do it to anyone I can’t be… involved with.
I don’t remember any of the bad parts. [such as they were.] I don’t remember Raylan breaking in to try and save me, or what happened then. The worst of it was right after he turned me, to be honest. The pain of it.
[It surprises Neal a little that he is being so honest, but it surprised him that Shaw checked in, too. He’s not used to people asking how he is without the question being loaded.] How are you doing?
It's always so convincing when people like you and Malcolm and Raylan and half the other individuals on board leave the summary of life at those two words.
[Neal resists the urge to say for the eleventy-millionth time that what kept him with Lestat wasn't mind control. This doesn't seem like the moment for it.] He used it on you? Did he make you hurt someone? Did--are you okay?
[He rolls his eyes at his own stupid question.] That has to be the most useless phrase we're conditioned into throwing at anyone when we're concerned.
I have check-ins at the counseling center, yeah. Seems like a smart choice, in a place like this.
[Nooooooooot going to get into the whole "I'm worried that I've been mind-controlled and brainwashed and that I could be a danger to the people here" thing.]
But I really am fine. I don't... feel things the way other people do; I'm not as easily affected. Or affected at all.
It's part of what Malcolm and I do together. [A pause, then with irony:] I hate it.
[He's not surprised to learn that about Shaw, but--] You still called to check in on me. Well, texted, but you did it. You felt enough one way or the other to do that.
[He's not sure what kind of answer he was hoping for. He feels too much, not too little, if anything. But he thought maybe it would give him somewhere to start.
He's known good people. He knows good people. The problem is that some of those good people are the ones he's not sure do the wholly right thing, anymore.]
Malcolm is good people. [It's a pivot away from the current topic, ish, but not enough of a one to be immediately obvious.] I got lucky.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
text
text
still text
I’m more offended by that than I should be.
no subject
SWITCHING TO VOICE FOR CONVEYANCE OF FULL OFFENSE
no subject
[... That's probably not going to be answer enough, is it. Uuuuuuuugh. She switches to audio, too.]
I wanted to make sure you were okay.
Honestly, after infirmary blood, my first thought was that Malcolm would have been doing something stupid like offering up his veins for you.
no subject
Oh.
[He clears his throat a little awkwardly.] No, I’ve gotten it from the infirmary.
[THAT ADHD URGE TO SAY TOO MUCH—] Given how it felt when Lestat fed on me I don’t think it would be a good idea to do it to anyone I can’t be… involved with.
no subject
no subject
Genuinely.
I don’t remember any of the bad parts. [such as they were.] I don’t remember Raylan breaking in to try and save me, or what happened then. The worst of it was right after he turned me, to be honest. The pain of it.
[It surprises Neal a little that he is being so honest, but it surprised him that Shaw checked in, too. He’s not used to people asking how he is without the question being loaded.] How are you doing?
no subject
[lol no she's not.]
What happened to Raylan?
no subject
[U WANT INFORMATION, GIVE INFORMATION.]
no subject
I'm a lot more used to dealing with danger than most people.
[He is, of course, meant to forget the way she'd looked completely wrecked when she and Malcolm had found him in the hallway. But--]
Lestat did a number on me, too.
[They're twinsies!]
no subject
[He feels like it's his fault, even if it's not.] During the flood? What happened?
no subject
He lost his powers, and we're keeping an eye on him. He's a declawed cat now; he can't do that to you again.
no subject
[He rolls his eyes at his own stupid question.] That has to be the most useless phrase we're conditioned into throwing at anyone when we're concerned.
no subject
no subject
[Thanks Malcolm. Though, thinking of Malcolm--] Are you talking to him? In the counseling center? You two were together when you found me.
[IT'S PRYING AND IT'S RUDE AND HE DOESN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT ASKING.]
no subject
[Nooooooooot going to get into the whole "I'm worried that I've been mind-controlled and brainwashed and that I could be a danger to the people here" thing.]
But I really am fine. I don't... feel things the way other people do; I'm not as easily affected. Or affected at all.
no subject
[He's not surprised to learn that about Shaw, but--] You still called to check in on me. Well, texted, but you did it. You felt enough one way or the other to do that.
Thank you.
no subject
no subject
no subject
Both.
Dull anger, sometimes.
no subject
How do you choose to do the right thing? How do you stay clear on what that is?
no subject
[John. Finch. Cole, before that. Her parents, before that.]
I haven't always valued life the way I should, but I try to, now. And I've always wanted to do good.
no subject
He's known good people. He knows good people. The problem is that some of those good people are the ones he's not sure do the wholly right thing, anymore.]
Malcolm is good people. [It's a pivot away from the current topic, ish, but not enough of a one to be immediately obvious.] I got lucky.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)