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[conning]

"It's Caffrey. Remember the value of plausible deniability. I'll get back to you."

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[abrightboy]

“What you said in the meeting… is that true? About the terror? And I mean specifically is it literally true?” Malcolm asks.

[conning]

Neal exhales heavily. “Yes. And before you start feeling guilty, being followed or watched or verbally jabbed at is only as intimidating as it is because people like Trevor burn down the chapel and can skate on a shrug and an ‘oops.’ I didn’t… I didn’t want to have to be on Lestat’s side. I really didn’t. You—you got hurt. You could have died if things went differently.”

He chews on his lip for a moment. “I thought you’d have people who pointed that out.”

[abrightboy]

Malcolm shrugs. "Like who?" He waves a hand. "It doesn't really matter," he admits. "The thing is? Reign of terror isn't what I signed up for. It's kind of the opposite. But. Do you realize that permanently paired inmates... only your Warden can request stuff be given to you or taken or done to you. I went to the meeting because it was decent of Reid to ask anyone's opinion. Ultimately none of the other Wardens in that room can have the Admiral do anything about, to or against Lestat. Of course, I stupidly also thought that him asking meant he genuinely wanted to discuss it, but you two had already hatched your one on one counseling plan, right? You talked about it before that; he'd already decided before any of us showed up.'

[conning]

"It does matter. It absolutely matters."

Neal eases George off his lap as he listens to Malcolm, a little knot of tension that seems to travel from the base of his neck to the pit of his stomach slowly loosening. "I didn't. Know that. I had no idea."

He hoists himself to his feet. "We talked about it briefly, but he really did want a chance to discuss things with everyone. To make sure there weren't factors he didn't know about, to try and build bridges. He would have gotten there himself, I just said it first. If you really think people wouldn't have listened if it had come from him... I'm kind of glad I did. It doesn't have to be one thing or the other. Both motives can be true. Can I come to your place? ...Is Will there?"

[abrightboy]

"He's not here." There's a pause. "He wasn't, though. Interested in discussing it. He shut down actual discussion. You noticed that, right?"

[conning]

"...I might have been too focused on not being sick and also not having a panic attack when I realized I was the only inmate in the room. Can I come over?"

Malcolm has never once entered his space uninvited, and now more than ever he wants to return the favor.

[abrightboy]

"Yeah. Of course. I'll leave the door unlocked. ...Are you staying on the line or hanging up?" Malcolm asks.

[conning]

"I'll stay on the line. Unless you want me to hang up?"

There's definitely residual anxiety in his voice, even as he puts George in his harness.

[abrightboy]

"No, I just wanted to know if I was supposed to stop talking," Malcolm tells him. "When are these meetings with Lestat supposed to take place? I suppose we have to deal with Reid being the 'supervision' whether we like it or not."

[conning]

"I don't know. I have no idea if they've talked about it yet." He sets George down, the cat content to trot ahead of him at this point on the leash as they move into the hall and toward the stairs. "If It's all right with you, I'd like to come with you. To yours. Sit with you? Make sure Lestat can see I'm not okay with what happened."

[abrightboy]

"Because you want Lestat to see or because you realized after the meeting that nobody was in my corner and now you feel bad about it?" Malcolm clarifies.

[conning]

“I do feel bad about it, but that’s not why.” The uncertainty in his voice cranks up a little bit, the tone of someone who thought they did one thing but is pretty sure they’re about to get in trouble for something else. “I want him to know that even though I wanted him to be safe that doesn’t… change that he hurt you. I don’t know how that will go, it seems like loyalty for him has always been drawn in black and white, but… He needs to figure out the grays. And if he’s mad at me for being protective of you too, that’s not… not really my problem.”

[abrightboy]

"You don't have to risk your friendship to prove anything to me, Neal. I mean. You're welcome to come, but it's done. You know Reid loves to talk about how much restraint Lestat showed in only giving me a potentially fatal wound, like that was a favour. But if it was that, then it wasn't a favour for me. That was for you. That was his acknowledgement of your feelings if it was restraint."

He pours hot water into a teapot instead of a thermos, since Neal is on the way over.

"I'm fine."

[conning]

“Malcolm, if he’s not okay with me being upset even when he shows the restraint of ‘only’ hurting someone I care about a little, our friendship isn’t strong enough to stand anyway. You’re not fine and you don’t have to be.”

[abrightboy]

He looks up as the door opens and puts down his device, turning to take teacups down from the cupboard.

"I'm going to stick it out until you and Will graduate," Malcolm tells him. "I don't want you to end up with someone worse. At least you know what to expect from me."

[conning]

That was not what he expected to hear walking in the door. That black-hole-in-the-stomach jolts back into being and Neal stops dead.

"Wait, what?"

[abrightboy]

Malcolm still and looks up at him.

"I said I'm not going to leave until you graduate and get your deal."

[conning]

"But then you are." That is not what he expected to hear. Or wanted to hear. Or... anything.

[abrightboy]

“I don’t know,” Malcolm admits. “If you’re all really being kept here under a constant reign of terror… like I said: that’s not what I signed up to do.”

[conning]

"So you're going to leave without trying to fix it?"

It's not accusatory, more... anxious. Neal recalibrating the team he has to work with in realtime, like he's on some kind of job and they're suddenly a man down.

[abrightboy]

“…Fix it?” Malcolm echoes. “Fix it how?”

[conning]

"Get the Admiral to change things. Get the Wardens to get the Admiral to change things. Get the Wardens to change things whether the Admiral likes it or not. Maybe you can't alter the way this place functions on an overarching level, but you can change the way people act on board."

He leans down to unclip George's leash and let the cat loose, keeping his eyes down so Malcolm can't see how pale he's gone.

[abrightboy]

“Neal… you were just in a meeting with a bunch of the most reasonable Wardens in here. Explain to me how that works?” he asks.

Too bad, but he’s noticed the pallor anyway. He pours tea and pushes it towards him.

“I thought you were leaving after you graduated anyway.”

[conning]

And for the second time, Malcolm is privy to Neal’s small outburst of violence. He grabs the cup on impulse and throws it, glass smashing against the wall above Malcolm’s sink. Scalding washer splashes his hand, and he hisses, cradling it against his chest and swearing to himself guiltily as George scrambles to cover.

[abrightboy]

[Malcolm closes his eyes, takes a breath, doesn’t notice his hand is shaking.]

Take the package of peas out of the freezer and put them on it. Running water can damage scalded skin. You can take them with you. I have some cream in the bathroom you can put on after it cools down. Take that too. If you came here to fight… I can’t…… I can’t do it right now.